The Lululemon Bag is Lying to You.


The Lululemon bag is lying to you.

It’s encouraging, shallow platitudes
suggest you could be a better person
if only you wore
more flattering pants.

It’s a comforting, condesending symbol
of your inflated morality,
a lifestyle purchased on credit
against the better judgement
of your balanced budget
and your “non-attachement” to material things.

It will encourage you
to “do something every day that scares you”
but never acknowledge
the fear of non-belonging
that sold you in the first place.

It will tell you
that friends are more important than money,
while Chip lines his pockets
with the viciously reduced overhead
of his conveniently distant ladies labour force.

It will tell you
that simply breathing is enough,
so long as you have
the outfit to match.

The Lululemon bag is lying to you.

It’s that feeling,
that gnawing in your belly,
the tickle at the back of your mind,
that something about this fabric on your skin
isn’t quite right.

Listen to it.

Open yourself up
to your honest interpretation
of this televised spectacle,
a marriage between consumerism
and our lost self esteem.

You will stand in a room
full of pre-packaged
spandex normality
and claim liberation, freedom
and individuality.

You will not find enlightenment
in the perfect pair of pants.
Just admit it –
you were probably hoping
the answer was that easy.

I know I was.


2 thoughts on “The Lululemon Bag is Lying to You.

  1. Pingback: Lululemon Body-Shaming One of Many Problems With the Company | Gender Focus

  2. I love this poem. For years I have used this exact bag as my laundry bag and every sunday as I waited for my laundry to dry I would stare at it and read all the phrases. At first it mildly annoyed me and I couldn’t figure out why – I just assumed it was because I was a cranky bitch. But over the years my mild annoyance has turned to all out disgust. And I still couldn’t figure out why. But after reading your poem, I totally get it! Thank you 🙂 I don’t know why it was so hard for me to put my finger on it.

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